Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
