you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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