How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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