He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
