all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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