The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
