I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize