It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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