she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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