is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize