fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
