he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
