I think I won the penis lottery.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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