Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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