Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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