I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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