Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
