No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
