Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize