I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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