I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
