I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
