so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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