i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
well most of my day revolves around power hour
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Randomize
