I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
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I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
