I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize