Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
