I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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