i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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