is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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