puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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