i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
