How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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