the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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