My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
