tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
