Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
