Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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