this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
