Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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