I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
