i just had sex bonerless
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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