piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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