I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
