I am in a vortex of obligation.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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