Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
