i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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