she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Sorry about my life...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
