thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
