is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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