Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Randomize
