I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So much rum. So many feels.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
