Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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