All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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