I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
