how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
