FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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