yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Farmville is her only friend.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
