he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
