apparently the secret to your success is patron
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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