i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
