I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
