I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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